I am having this problem right now. I am working so hard but I am not over everything yet. I am in love with Brown. That is all I know. Nothing more, nothing less. I want to be with him for a long time. But I dont know how to get over my ever reoccurring feelings for him. 

I know that he is not good for me. I know that he is an ass hole that will die happy with his now 2 times ex fiance. Maybe I was right in the first place. I should not have been with him ever. I should have just been happy and stayed single. But then I would have never been with brown at all. I mean… I saw something the other day that said “I have had a crust on you since I met you.” And it is so true! I have! I mean I know that it sounds bad because I met him in August. Right after I had come out to davids mom about the engagement. 

Every time that we went to alfred angelo and look at dresses, I would look at browns face and see the hurt and sadness that I was with him. I dont know if I am reading into that but he would look at me like a sad puppy dog. I would also look at his face and see which one he liked best. I mean he was going to be daves best man. I am in love with my exs best friend. I need to figure out what is going on in my head and his before I know what to do anymore!